Apparently I Need Make Up So I Don't Give People Nightmares « Little Girl In A Reverie





Saturday, March 25, 2006

Apparently I Need Make Up So I Don't Give People Nightmares

"Make up helps...have you tried it? please don't take your pix without it..innocent people are getting nightmares.." - piggy.

That was a comment on my previous post.

I am sorry I was born ugly.

But what can I do? I don't have all the time in the monkey's backside's world to beautify myself everytime I take out my camera. Besides, most of the photos in the previous entries are of places that does not even require us to dress up, so PRAY TELL..GO mamak also must put make up ar?

Sorry lah, but Jolene Lai is not as pretentious as most of the girls out there. I don't want to lie to you and say, "See, I have such HUGE eyes." For fuck's sake, my eyes no matter how I eyeline also they'll still be small! SO I LET THEM REMAIN SMALL TOO BAD.

I don't need to put on make up for every photo I take or photoshop my face just because it won't SCARE people. Sorry lah! Then later people dig out photos of the real me and put it on the net now? I suppose this is one of the reasons why I am not a madly famous blogger, because I am not pretty enough. Madly famous bloggers are beautiful(and a good number of them are not natural beauties) and you tell me lah, how many times have links of their "without makeup/before plastic surgery" photos been passed around?

SO next time ar people, if you want to link me, just put a picture of me as a link first so that people who read your blog will decide if they want to have nightmares or not before coming over here.

AND OF COURSE I HAVE USED MAKE UP BEFORE, YOU DUMB FUCK. Obviously your first time coming to my blog.


Sorry folks.. but comments about my looks has always depressed me. Yes, I may not be the most beautiful girl out there but I sure as hell don't want to hear it!

I can still remember the first time I found out that I was not beautiful.

When I was 12 years old, I went over to Serene's house to practice for our Karaoke competition which was held by the choir club. That time ICQ was very in so we turned it on to see who was online.

Alas, that cute Nicholas Chee who is a form2 boy was online. Serene introduced us before and I was chatting with him abit online prior to that. I thought he was kinda cute and once passed by his class and smiled at him.

Then Serene and Nicholas initiated a chat room and started chatting. I was just sitting merrily behind her watching her chat away.

Suddenly he said, "Eh that day ar...that Jolene Lai walk past my class and smiled at me you know,"

I was elated because he mentioned me.

"Then my friends started laughing and said they want to pengsan. She's SO ugly I want to vomit..!!"

Imagine the crack of my heart when I read that.

Serene quickly typed back, "Er.....she's sitting right behind me...she very angry now..."

Though I tried to remain expressionless.

Then the reply came, "Oh!! Sorry Jolene!! You very Pretty!! Maybe if you don't smile, you'll look fine."

I remember cycling home with tears running down my cheeks. I remember feeling so scared of Nicholas and his bunch of friends. I'd avoid walking within their radius. I felt ugly for so many months. It was from this experience that I have NEVER been one of the girls who appreciated the 'bad boy look'.

Oh, don't worry, there was another case. I had this so-called-online-boyfriend named Benjamin Loh/Low/some-surname-I-can't-remember. His nickname was moonraider on ICQ and he is a Malacca boy.

We met when my cousin gave me his contact in 1999 and the boy would send me midi files. I was quite touched. He called me and said two sentences and put down the phone and went online again to tell me that he like me very much lalalala bla bla bla bli blu bleh bloh... and it lasted for like FOUR days.

Why ar? Because my cousin showed a picture of me to him and he said I looked like shit.

The end.

I don't even consider that as a boyfriend lah. Just some bad experience. But to this day, I don't even know HOW he looks like. Now THAT is unfair. What to do, those were the days without digital camera and webcam. If i wanted to pass him my picture online, I would have needed a scanner(my god, do those things still exist?).

But it's good also lah, it's people like these who can stop me from being a perasan girl. At least I have learnt to be a humble and modest person from that experience.

I'm sorry I overreacted, folks. But I really really really hate it when I get comments like this. You want to tell me that my attitude on certain matter is abit incorrect.... fine. I can reason with you. But my day really gets spoilt with comments about the way I look. Like fuck I know I am not gorgeous. But I don't need to hear it.

I am afterall, a woman.

Oh, saw this quote somewhere before:

"There is so such thing as ugly women, only lazy women."

I think it was written by some blogger who studies at one of the public universities and was complaining about the clothes the girls in his uni wear. I can't remember which blogger.

Jayelle's back and neck ached at 7:23:55 pm

April 12, 2006   12:42 AM PDT
I admire you much way much more than xiaxue. :)
March 29, 2006   09:23 PM PST
sush: hahaha yes yes.,.everyday i am still amazed that you can tolerate me for just ONE more day.

kayhong: lol thanks dude for the support. YALA. Who dare to insult Jolene man! Only Kay Hong got special rights to insult Jolene right? There can only be ONE Jolene insulter. ehhehe yesla coming home la, wait lah!!
k' hong
March 29, 2006   08:27 PM PST
WAH!! chill laH!!

mahai! pundek Piggy/dickhead/fuck face/whatever

tell ur address i kasi bring 20 motobikes and kasi sunat LU!!

benci people who kutuk jolene!!

jolene sayang sayang, dun angry.. faster come home belanja mee...
love love!
March 29, 2006   07:05 AM PST
WAHHHH too much that person...

*hugss* me loves my Joey so so so much. beauty comes from the inside k Jo. Remember that. People like this going around giving inane comments and putting other people down reflects on just how ugly they are.

you ARE beautiful, my dear. and we all love you for who you are.

ps: if i didnt, then how could i have tahan-ed all your bullyings throughout these 8 years?
March 29, 2006   03:30 AM PST
lynnee: i know that. first impression stillllll..

amandaseraph: hahaha damn i miss ur bitchstares

xiao: eheh..pimples. thanks dear..:) i like what you said, thank you very much.

lydia: heyyy:D I remember u!! u danced with ern teck mostly lah:P not with me!!;P erm, i did?? 0_o.. but those were fun days huh. yeah, i get you. i know, confidence. :)

eileen: my god. that's bad........shud just roll him over with a lorry u know.

serene: hehehe man, u still remember. yeah, thanks dear:)

yeewei: thank u:) i had.

minishorts: ehehe glow huh.. i suppose an approachable person is nicer than a holier than thou beauty queen

missvickZ: WTF?!!!! i want to know what's your reactioN! and you're a beautiful girl. I cannot imagine what would make them say that.

g_mas: ehehhe thank you for your incredible faith in me. :D yeah, make up brings about bad cases of acne.

anonymous: hey there:) thanks for making my day. you're a nice breed of anon commentors. some anon commentors spoil my day..but you do it the other way around:) thanks for dropping by.

miss sunshine: *fly to the sky liao*... my goodness, those words made my ego all better already! thanks babe!! *BIG HUG*
yeapyheap, hence the triggered blog entry above. *nudge*. thanks ya.:)
Miss SUNshine
March 28, 2006   07:40 PM PST
I just read this entry, havent had the chance to do it earlier as I've been really busy at work.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks, and as cliche as it sounds yet rings true - your insides is what matters and you have proved over time what a beautiful person you are inside by sharing your eloquent writing, funny perceptions of life's experiences, beautiful expressions, damn bright and quick mind, and most importantly, the genuine YOU with us thru your blog!

Men are generally shallow people who likes looking at pretty things, wishing they can have a piece of them hotties without realising their own not-so-on-par looks, but end up choosing a gal with quality insides and looks being secondary. And smart gals with quality insides will then make them pay by being picky and only choosing men WE wanna be with. ;)


March 28, 2006   05:24 PM PST
Hey have no idea who I am..but i dont think it matters really..All i can say is those guys are bastards!!and immature..very typical.Dont worry bout it..everyone goes through it..I would kill to have your put up all kinds of pictures.Have a nice day!:)
March 28, 2006   04:21 PM PST
u're real, u're fun, u're cool and so what if u're not as pretty? as least u're not dying under all that make up with zits popping up and disgusting rashes due to over use of make up. i proclaim my undying love and admiration for you Jolene! =D
Yee Wei
March 27, 2006   04:08 PM PST
Goodness, what a jerk!

Do cheer up and not let these things spoil your day.
March 27, 2006   11:44 AM PST
hey jo..wuo that was years back huh..but good looking doesnt mean good at heart..just be yourself and you'll be beautiful inside out.
March 27, 2006   02:37 AM PST
I have a similar experience but in real life, babe!

A guy whom i met for the first time saw my Oyster Card which had my pic in it. The first reaction when he saw my picture- Wah, kam fei geh! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! @#$%^&*(

I was speechless.
March 27, 2006   01:34 AM PST
Hey Jolene, I duno if u remember me, I was the girl who danced mambo with you when we were in taylors.

But i remembered you. I remembered you as the girl who was bursting with confidence. Darn it, u liven up the room when u walk in!

We have all been there, so u r not alone.

But piggy's comment only proved juz how superficial and shallow he is!

Are looks the sole judgement for a woman's beauty?

LOL. He's juz another dumb ass.

Even the men would beat him up.

Cheer up! Mwah!
March 26, 2006   10:21 PM PST
girls are never confident about their looks aside..

you are confident enough to put up your photos, doing whacky crazy stuff, camwhore pics, everything!

shoot, if that's not beautiful i don't know what is. Someone who doesn't censor herself, unlike people who had to photoshop off pimples before they post up pictures..

blah. forget them. enough said =)
March 26, 2006   08:34 PM PST
joleneeeeee!! my joey bearrrr!
ish cannotT! i don't like piggy! bastard! *bitchstare bitchstare*
manda sayang jolene <3
March 26, 2006   04:58 PM PST
that person's just jealous la. ignore saja.

it's far better to have a beautiful personality than a beautiful face :)

March 26, 2006   03:08 PM PST
pelf:'s just comments i know. thanks though!

debun: thanks for the encouragement..i know inner beauty counts:D

kim: haven't been wearing your contacts again..:P thanks for cheering me up though. com'n, you're flattering me too much because damn woman, it's impossible that i'm slimmer than you! yupyup,, girls are insecure. a well known fact. give him the finger? i'll chop his finger also.

sue: thank you for your kind words.:) i hate nasty people.

shee: ahha the in love look huh?

vivien: thank you thank you..yeah i mean com'n lah. people will laugh at u if u put on makeup JUST to go to mamak

giant sotong: you're too sweet. thank you.;D

qiki: yeah you're right about how after knowing someone for so long, looks doens't really matter adi.

fuku: erm thank you?

jose: thanks thanks:) i mean it is never good to appear fake what, rite?

hanabee: yeahhh but sometimes abit fan.

lily: i know..confidence makes even the plainest of girls look beautiful.

she's jess: thanks dear..:) i suppose what you said is true.

luzzio: hah hah hah hah

halfglobeaway: heyy:) insipring. thank you for the thoughts.

brenda: ahhaha thanks for ur faith in me girl. :D just some downtime. will be up again. GOT INTERNET WHAT!!!;D

esther: ahahha damnit,i miss all the standing ups the dahlings do for each other.
March 26, 2006   11:19 AM PST
Wah that person really never die before. (sentence structure is so wrong but me no care, cos no one has ever spoken to me like that since i've gotten here!)

pfft. that PIGGY, who thinks he's oh-so-cute by giving himself SUCH nickname shld reconsider his statement. why? because make up can also make one look scary and gives him/her (howsoever i reckon he's a guy.. v. typical) nigtmares too.

such a stupid statement. i'm sure tht person's brain is stuck up his arse!

jo you're beautiful in all ways. to hell with these kinda comments. not worth your piss.

have a g'day mate!
March 26, 2006   10:31 AM PST
hey gurl...seriously i often think u look quite photogenic in photos! to hell with all those bastards who think otherwise...who cares about them when u have a wonderful doting bf who think ur the most beautiful girl on earth? and personally i do think your beautiful in your own way and you dun have to change that for anybody else!
March 26, 2006   10:04 AM PST
girl, you are beautiful internally. Doesn't matter how you look like, as long as you are not being hypocrite. You have supportive true frens, pillar-of-strength bf, and an amazing family. Physical appearance will not last long, sad to say. Your knowledge and your true self are the ones that will shine you thru the finishing line =)
March 26, 2006   09:42 AM PST
flamer galore.

it's a good sign for your blog =)
She\\\'s Jess
March 26, 2006   09:25 AM PST
Hey! See... you don't blog to be famous right? And you have a bunch of friends here eh.. why worry.

Yes, I understand the stress the effect of after one telling us that we don't have the look and so and so..

I read yr blog since.. I don't know when. Why bother eh? CK loves you for who you are. Your friends accept you for who you are.

Agree with Lily. Confidence that makes us the best.

So cheer up kay? Don't get disturb by those people. Take care
March 26, 2006   08:23 AM PST
My dear, looks is not everything. It is not about knowing whether you look hot or not its about the confidence that you have in yourself and what you have in your inner beauty. When you have confidence and a heart that is kind that wins out all.
March 26, 2006   02:15 AM PST
You know you are good enough then can laio..don't need to bothers ppl who dont know u.

March 26, 2006   02:00 AM PST
i LOVE your non pretentious attitude!! i think its cool. thats what makes you REAL.
March 26, 2006   01:30 AM PST
beauty is only skin deep...take away de skin every1 looks de same....u dun look gorgoeus..but oso not ugly..
March 26, 2006   12:18 AM PST
Each of us are special and perfect in our own special ways : )

I went through the same "ugly crap" but in the end all of us know that looks doesnt matter anymore when you really know the person from the inside: )

and Jolene you look so sweet in photos esp. with your boyfriend. no kidd.
Giant Sotong
March 25, 2006   10:26 PM PST
Sorry... 8Þ equals :p No misunderstandings, OK?
Giant Sotong
March 25, 2006   10:24 PM PST
Not bad-looking what... why so many people got eyes, no balls 8Þ

I like you just the way you are.
March 25, 2006   10:22 PM PST
hey...ignore those ppl who said u're ugly. u looked good just the way you are and this is my very very honest opinion on you jolene. and you are right about the makeup thing. what for we need to apply makeup even if we're only going to mamak? like we really have time like that. u're pictures are fine and interesting to see. so dun worry much and keep ya head up girl.
March 25, 2006   08:57 PM PST
ppl with low mentality.. what to do, they're born natural.. hahaha, *hugs* inner beauty counts. Take care!

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Hi, my name is Jolene and if there is a question in your head, this answer will definitely answer it: I was wrong and irrational. I was being a woman.

Jolene Lai, Jolene Lai,
Came to life in January and not July,
She is 19 years of age,
Can't wait to earn her own wage,
This dental student is home sick,
Will never be in Kedah for more than three weeks.

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Has a boyfriend, a brother and a dog,
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Please Don't Take My Orange Away (9/03/05)
Flasher On MSN! (28/4/05)
Looking Back From Where They Left Off (8/10/05)
A Bottle Of My Bestest Friends In The Whole Wide World!(13/2/06)
Diary Extracts For Him From The Yesteryears (23/3/06)

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